Leadership and the power of questions

 I was frustrated and angry with my junior high basketball coach, Billy Hall. He had asserted that I had lost my focus on playing the game. "You are more concerned with your girlfriend and it is affecting your performance," he said. He sat me on the bench because of my lack of focused play and expectations.

 I can still remember talking to Mother soon afterwards. I did not think it was right for Coach Hall to get involved in my personal relationships! My mother was a great listener and would let me express my true feelings before offering advice, if any. Finally, after I had exhausted my reasons for the unfairness of it all and my exasperation over the situation, she asked me a question that still echoes in my mind today. She asked, "Why do you think Coach Hall would do this?"

 I had never contemplated this thought. I was more concerned with how I felt. She was trying to lead me to look at this concern of mine from a different perspective. Her question was not to get information so she could go and ream him out. Rather, it paralleled the old admonition to walk a mile in someone else's shoes before judging his/her actions or motives. Before formulating an assessment or judging someone, you must understand his experiences, challenges, and thought processes. She wanted me to reflect on what reasons Coach Hall would have to get involved in my personal business.  

Henry Ford once said, "If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own." His great success was built on this principle. Great leaders seek to understand before attempting to be understood. 

My mother was an amazing lady. She would often ask me questions that caused me to think. On this particular night she asked me another question. "Do you want me to go to school and talk with Coach Hall?" I was quick to say no. I wanted to handle my own problems. Besides, in those days it was generally not acceptable for your parents to go to school and complain about a problem. But here's a take-away from that night: she didn't offer any advice per se; she just calmly asked two thought-provoking questions. 

Lately this experience has caused me to reflect upon the greatest leader of all time, Jesus Christ. Though his life was THE answer to all, and he didn't hesitate to answer when appropriate, wouldn't you say that one of his most effective means of influencing the thinking of others came from his tendency to pose questions rather than give answers? Don't you think that he could be called the Great Questioner? According to the gospels he posed many more questions than answers. Some records have him asking over three hundred questions during his recorded earthly ministry. Even the greatest leader of all times chose to ask a question more often than to give an answer.

 One of most profound questions that has ever been asked is found in Mark 8:36-37 when Jesus said, "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?" Interesting questions. Maybe it is time for all of our leaders in the political, social, business, and religious arenas to start asking these questions once again. As Jim Elliot once penned, "A man is no fool to give up what he cannot keep in order to gain what he cannot lose!"  

Well, I got my so-called "love life" in check and returned to having a good year in basketball. We were city champions with a record of seventeen wins and two loses. I was fortunate to lead the team in scoring. But the principle that my mother taught me that night has stuck with me all of my life, far beyond that "puppy love experience" or playing time in a game. She was one of the wisest people that I have ever known.

Remember, I believe we are all leaders regardless of our position.