How you handle no tells me how you will handle yes!

Charlie Miskelly, the director of schools for McNairy County, had finally made his decision. He was appointing Dr. Brenda Armstrong, assistant principal at Bethel Springs Elementary, to the principalship of Selmer Middle School. It was a tough decision for Mr. Miskelly because there were several qualified applicants including the current assistant principal at Selmer Middle School, Mickey Murphy. Despite having several years of experience as an administrator, Mr. Murphy accepted the decision of the director with grace and humility. He was thankful for the opportunity to interview and pledged to work with his new principal. His attitude really impressed the director. 

Since I was serving as assistant director of schools at the time, I was able to observe all of this firsthand. Talking with the director one day after the process of selecting the new administrator, he related to me an interesting insight. He said, "How you handle no tells me how you will handle yes." He was greatly impressed with how Mickey Murphy so graciously accepted his not getting the job. He continued, "It told him a lot about Mr. Murphy's leadership abilities and character." What a great observation and example!

Years later Mr. Murphy would apply for the principalship at McNairy Central High School, the flagship school of the system, and he got the job. Why? Because Mr. Miskelly knew how Mr. Murphy would handle failure, challenges, setbacks, and disappointments in his new "yes" assignment. 

The way leadership handles disappointments and failure is so important. When Mr. Murphy had not been selected the first time, he did not accuse others, make excuses, or blame it on politics. He was a humble man who was willing to serve in whatever capacity he found himself. His gracious acceptance of not getting the job caused me to recall the teaching of my mom long ago.

Mother would often tell me that the Lord tries us with a little to see what we will do with a lot. This was a principle that seemed to ultimately play into Mr. Miskelly's reasoning. I continue to ponder and marvel at this life lesson even today. And it reminds me of another example. 

When I became principal of Adamsville High School in 1979, I had the responsibility to recommend my replacement as the high school boys basketball coach. Mike McCutchen, my assistant, was obviously one of the leading candidates. He was a good young coach. Mike and I were very good friends--we attended the same church; Rosalind, my wife, played the piano in his and Spring's wedding. However, I recommended Steve Dodd (not family kin, by the way), an out of system applicant, because I believed that Mike was not ready to be the head coach.

My recommendation was approved by the school board. Mike McCutchen would continue to be the assistant coach. He was very gracious and accepted his disappointment with humility. He did not blame me. He did not quit and tell me that I was disloyal to him. He, like Mr. Murphy, told me how he would deal with the future yes opportunities because I witnessed how he handled the no disappointments.

So, of course, the story doesn't end there. Coach McCutchen stayed that year and worked very hard on a team that played its way to the sub-state game with an outstanding record . Later after that season was over Coach Dodd resigned to take a position on the college level. And guess who got the job as head coach--Mike McCutchen. No doubt I knew how Mike would handle yes. His attitude revealed everything about him when he was told no. 

He would coach several years on the high school level and go on to accept a college position as an assistant basketball coach at Freed Hardeman University. Later he would become that team's head coach when Charlie Smith retired. And he now serves as the athletics director at FHU. What a humble and gracious leader!

I believe that what Charlie told me that day is spot-on. How we handle the no does in fact tells us how we will handle the yes when frustration and disappointments come. Effective leaders understand this great insight. I Peter 5:8 expresses it well-- "Humble yourself, therefore under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time." There is no doubt that both Mickey and Mike demonstrated this great principle through their actions and reactions in times of disappointment and success.    

Remember, I believe we are all leaders regardless of our position.