Leaders understand the Power of Words

 Words that we speak are so powerful. I recently heard of a teacher making a negative assessment of one of her students. The comment went far beyond the incident that needed to be corrected to judging and labeling the character and integrity of the small boy. This event caused me to have a flashback to sixty-six years ago when it was my first day in the second grade at Rice Elementary. This was a country school in Tyler, Texas, where my father and his five brothers had attended. Steve, my older cousin, also come through school at Rice. I tell you this to indicate that the perception of Massey boys was probably already firmly entrenched in the mind of the faculty before I ever began. And, to be honest, I had a tough first grade--sometimes rough-housing on the playground and other mischievous things a young boy would do, which seemed normal for a guy who had been been raised with older, more aggressive children than I was. So, on entering first grade, I was a little more assertive than my classmates, but Mrs. Goodman was a kind, good teacher who helped me adjust. 

But that was first grade and I had adapted throughout the year with the help of my teacher and my parents. Now the first day of the second grade was an exciting day. It was a new start and I had a pretty new teacher by the name of Miss Walters who later became Mrs. Sledge within the school year. There were thirty-five students in her class. I can still see where I was sitting in the back of the classroom that first day when she called roll. She said, "Paul Mark Massey." I answered here. She then said, "You are the one that they had so much trouble with last year." Wow! It was so demeaning. But I just did not make any response to the label. I just sat there as she continued to call roll. 

Isn't it telling that I would remember that comment sixty-six years later when there is nothing else that I remember from that school year?

We tend to label and judge people on their past behavior. Leaders are called upon to correct negative behavior without attacking the character and integrity of the individual. Most of us do not want to be identified by our youthful and immature mistakes. People change. But sometimes we are tempted to label people for a lifetime. Solomon, the wise author of the book of Proverbs stated in chapter 18:21, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit." Also in chapter 13:3, Solomon says, "He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction." It is important for us to believe that we can change our world by changing our words. As Walt Whitman once said, "Be curious not judgmental."

I am convinced that we may have all done what was done to me on that first day of the second grade in 1956. As Mrs. Sledge did not know the magnitude of her words, I do not know the power of the words that I have spoken during my career as an educator. I often pray that God will give me the wisdom to see myself as he sees me not as this world sees me. Educators need to correct and disciple students who fail to meet the expectations but never to the point of condemnation. We need to speak words of life not death. We all make mistakes and we all need forgiveness. Discipline is something we do FOR a child, not TO him. 

I am glad that label did not go with me throughout my elementary school days at Rice. I am also thankful for Mrs. Payne, my 3rd grade teacher, who was one of the best teachers that I ever had. She corrected me with firmness and love. I do not remember any of her particular instructions or comments. But I can still feel today how she made me feel when I was in her presence. Her calmness demonstrated through her body language is still visible in my memory. In interactions with those we lead and teach, we should always keep in mind how it felt to be a young or even a not-so-young student.

Remember, I believe we are all leaders regardless of our position.