OH NO!

"Oh no!" was the comment I overheard and thought I understood on my end of the phone line that day. I had called to speak with Tammy to see if she could be a substitute teacher at our school for Coach Rickman, who had just called in sick. It was around 7:00 in the morning. 

Immediately after Coach had called requesting a sub, I turned around and quickly dialed Tammy, someone who often subbed when we needed her, to see if she could come in for him at our school that day. Her husband answered the phone. I asked if Tammy was there without introducing myself or indicating why I was calling. I heard him put the phone down and I couldn't help but overhear their conversation. "Who is it?" she asked her husband. He responded, " I don't know, but I think it is Mark Massey and he probably wants you to sub today at Adamsville High School." Her quick response was, "OH NO!"

When I heard that comment my thoughts went into overdrive. I needed to get a sub quickly because school started in less than an hour. I began to stew! My first instinct was--OK, I'll just hang up and call another sub (someone who WANTS to come). After all, I don't have time to play games. 

Hold it--I thought, No--the best thing I should do is to CORRECT  her. I decided to say, "Tammy, if you don't want to come to our school to substitute teach, then take your name off of our list!" But, for some reason, logic made me back it up a notch or two.  So I thought--I'll just listen to her when she picks up the phone. After all she did not know what I had heard, (the "OH NO!") 

After a long pause, Tammy came to the phone. She answered hello, and I quickly stated, "This is Mark Massey and wanted to know if you were available to sub for Coach Rickman today at Adamsville High School." Without delay her response was, "OH NO! I have already accepted an assignment at Selmer Middle School! But I would rather come to your school! Do you mind if I call and try to get out of the other assignment and come to your school?" Amazed and enlightened, I responded, " I'll give you five minutes because I am really needing to get a substitute teacher soon." She called me back in less than five minutes and said, "I am coming to your school!"

Wow! What a communication exchange that was in a short period of time. I have referred to this story many times when trying to improve myself and teach others in the challenging art of communicating.  I had three things that were before me when I heard "OH NO!" First of all, I could have hung up the phone and called another sub. Secondly, I could have given her a piece of my mind, a blunt reaction to what I thought she meant. Thankfully, I chose the third option--to listen before acting.

But, to become an active listener, we have to be intentional in our desire to improve. Many times, I judge too quickly and hang up the phone--literally or figuratively.  Or I want to jump in and give others a piece of my mind. But true communicators are swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. This amazing skill is named in James 1:19 and is a foundation for what Stephen Covey wrote as one of seven great habits:  "..we need to seek first to understand and then seek to be understood."  I'm so glad I came to my senses and remembered this wise concept as I dealt with Tammy and her "OH NO!"